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Widowerhood

Well, my period of 'gwabranci,' is coming to an end and I haven't joined the guys for the daily soccer game as much as I had hoped to, but I have been able to finish some projects. That's 'widowerhood' for those of you learning Hausa at home, and it's a word I have definitely had cemented into my brain these two weeks. (When I said I'm a bachelor, they corrected me to say 'widower,' a more respected position here, and more accurate to my life station.)
It's been a culturally educational experience. Hausa is a greeting-heavy culture - "How's the work?", "How's the rain?", "How's the family?" It amazes me the people who can fire off four questions as they walk past... though of course for someone you really know you should NOT just walk past. You need to stop and take a real interest in the answers even if you know all four of them will be 'fine.' This is sometimes a struggle for me... I have had to coach myself when I am running late for rounds in the morning that I should not cut out the one to two minutes I lose every morning being greeted by various staff en route to the nursing station. My western mindset is in a hurry, but that's of course not the right attitude here.
Within this greeting-heavy culture I have been impressed at how everyone now greets me by asking about my 'gwabranci.' At first, I tried answering with some Western sarcasm about how "Oh, I am enjoying it." Let me tell you that did not fly. They would say, "No you are not. Gwabranci is not enjoyable." Many Hausas take extended absences from their brides in the first years of marriage, so they know how hard it is. Also, all food preparation here is done by the women, so a frequent stock question is "How are you eating?," with an emphasis on the 'how' and a tone of genuine fear for my livelihood. I don't always tell them that T put a whole meal plan in the freezer before departing, and even when I do, they do not usually understand... most do not have refrigerators after all.

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